Hot Tea

Hot Tea
There are more moments that exist


when I want to see my children grown


where the worry lines on my face,


etched carefully, subtly during their teens,


are visible in the quiet light




I sit with a hot cup of tea


a scene that I longed for


throughout their childhood


when my eldest wouldn't nap


and instead chose to scream


which woke up my youngest


This pull and push,


brought me to the very brink of sanity, the very edge


looking below I saw the depths of insanity


that drew


closer


and closer


with


each


exhausted


wail


from


upstairs




but I step back from the sanity ledge


the hot cup of tea


the quiet living room


the soft light


instead, I step into the chaos


I hold my youngest


and cry with her


we are both in need of comforting


she provides the calm that I am able to restore to her


I lay her down gently


I tuck in my oldest, kiss him softly


 

I return to my tea which has turned cold


and am fulfilled with each sip


because there will be a time for hot tea


and I am certain,


as I drink it then,


I will long to hear crying from the upstairs